Give Her Everything
In the time of conversion all things are given to be purified. In the time of transformation, we are asked to turn over our ego prizes to the sweet fires of the Alchemist, the Sophia of the new world. It’s like this: if you come close to a campfire with marshmallows in your pocket, your pants will become a horrible mess. If you give your marshmallows to the Queen of Forgiveness, She will make you smile with smores.
Empty your pockets of all the little treasures and private goodies of the separate self. These hidden resentments and regrets will blight your joy.
…give the Holy Spirit everything that would hurt you. Let yourself be healed completely that you may join with [Her] in healing, and let us celebrate our release together by releasing everyone with us. ACIMT-15:3
I try to give everything,
all the little grievances and reasons to feel guilty.
I place my dirty laundry in Her cleansing hands.
I want to exchange it for innocence.
This morning I emptied the whole hamper,
everything but the clothes on my back.
I can do this, I affirmed.
I can put those stinky thoughts
on the altar and be done with it.
Piously I approached the Counselor.
She opened Her arms wider than the sky.
She smiled like a Sicilian with a dish of macaroni.
I felt safe. I felt holy, but then, I felt unholy again. Huh?
Are you sure, She said, there isn’t anything more?
I grew just slightly indignant. Here I was confessing
like a diabetic with a mouth full of chocolate.
I mean, how vulnerable can you get?
She hugged me then, the hug of the flame,
setting ablaze my longing to end all pain, all lies, all shame.
She enveloped me with the fire of her purity.
BABOOM! There was a giant explosion.
Oh dear! She said. Holy Smoke! I said.
I forgot that firecracker in my pocket.