Dear Hearts, Sept 5th
2019
I am writing in haste having not yet packed. Tomorrow I see my mama. How
crazy and adorable she can be. Although she knew months ago of my visit,
our phone conversation is largely about her desire that I hurry home. It is
inconsequential that I have never lived in Florida.
The conversation goes something like this: when are you coming to see
me? I tell her the date. She yelps with delight. Wow! Wow! Wow! That is
followed by a big gulp of air. Then, what
do you want to do when you are here? I say, just hang with you. She says,
okay. Then, like a streaker running
flat out across her untamed tongue she asks all over again, so when are you coming to see me? I
tell her the date. She yelps with delight. Wow! Wow! Wow! Again it is
followed by a big gulp of air. Her emotion is raw and the words
impassioned. We go round and round this way until I tire and let her know
I have to hang up. Then she says three times, quickly and precisely, I love you, I love you, I love you. I
say, Mama, I love you too! I’ll see you very soon. She
says, when are you coming to see me?
I am laughing now, our communication like a carousel going round and round,
kind of sparkly, with happy music that repeats and repeats. I know we are not really
going anywhere, but I want to join her in the ride.
This is Alzheimer’s. It is an awful disease, where forgetting can steal
your ability even to breathe. Still I see behind every disease the deeper Truth
remains. That truth is What we are, that Truth is the Love that is whole
within the soul.
There is a Self that cannot be forgotten because it is held in the Heart of the
Mother, the Source of our creation. Mamas, like our Cosmic Birther,
cannot lose the feeling of their babies, cannot shake the bond, even when the
babe is 66.
It is hard for children who love their mothers to have the tables turned so
completely around, to find the goddess enfeebled. My darkest thoughts are
that I wish she would gently pass from this place, fall asleep and wake in some
new realm, wake up next to Jesus going, Wow! Wow! Wow!
It makes me cry to speak of it, but then I believe that Love has no room for
suffering, for pain, or loneliness. Bodies have their limits. After a
while all Lights within flesh go dim. Perhaps love would opt for freedom
before the darkest hour.
I will not be at our meeting tomorrow evening, but please show up! Penny has
the key to the church, and your brothers and sisters will be there to share A Course in Miracles.
It has been a long while since many of you have joined with us.
I can’t help but ask, so when are you coming to see
me? I promise I will be
wowed by your Presence.
Also, a plug for our book (Jesus and marybeth) as it is now on Amazon.
Yippee! Look it up under, Write, Beloved, Write
and/or MaryBeth Scalice M.A.Ed.D.
I love you! I love you! I love you!
marybeth
Mama
