Good Morning Dear Hearts,
Florida’s summer is has no wind, but damp warm sheets wrap you in ways that set
your muscles to droop as your step out of the a/c into thickened soup.
Still the sun shines resolutely, as if God were beaming through the dog days
giving us pause, asking us to relax, keeping us all from rushing. We
sweat even in our slow, deliberate walks from the car to the apartment, hoping
we can shower soon. Except for Mom, who is not happy taking showers, and most
of all unhappy as the sun sets. Then shadows fall across her face and the light
in her eyes dims with fear. She asks, please stay with me. Please
don’t go. Of course I can stay until she is calm and ready
for sleep. However tomorrow comes and I will not be here to comfort her.
I ask, What then Jess? How do I leave a mother, a sister, a friend in fear?
The lessons of the Course this
week have helped me. Let me not see myself as
limited. Jess tells us our help comes not from a body, but
from Vision. I can seek the holy light within my mother, no matter where I seem
to be in time and space. It is in my power to dispel all illusions about
the child of God. Very specifically He tells me not to let a picture of
diminished strength or fragility obscure her sovereignty.
This seems to bypass everything I am feeling…weak, incapable of true
helpfulness, sorrow. Still in the next lesson He suggests. I am in need of nothing but the truth. He
is right, I am searching for all kinds of solutions…doctors, nursing
homes, money to pay for increased care. His instruction is to recognize
that Truth will bring answers, satisfaction and resolution to everything I
think I need.
Who can trust like that? I can. I will. Each time I gaze into my mother’s
eyes, I feel a deep peace and gratitude. She doesn’t know much about
the world, but she recognizes me. She remembers
and extends Love. I kiss her cheek in a way I have never kissed her
before. It is not a courtesy, or polite protocol of greeting. It is
peace we give each other. It is the calm certain truth that Love is my
Identity, and has come this far, through this dis-ease to be expressed exactly
this way. It does not mean God wants our debilitation, but She uses it in ways
that bring Her forward, make Her apparent, in ways that help us recognize our
true identity.
Here is the most amazing thing. To be human, to have a body, to
experience all things that could possibly unfold in the dream world, is to
offer the Divine Being a uniquely beautiful opportunity to know and express
Love through form. It is a chance for the Creator to experience and
extend Itself in ways too rich, too beautiful, too small for the limits of a
body. It is my mother’s very limits and dis-ease that reveals God as the
infinite mystery of Love.
Still, I must look. I must practice awareness. I must not get so
caught in the mortal that the Spirit is hidden. Simply taking five minutes to
read a lesson helps. Jess prays with us. (WB-252.2)
Father, You know my true
identity.
Reveal it now to me who am Your Son
that I may waken to the truth in You,
and know that Heaven is restored to me.
We are all dying here, just as Jesus died to himself. He showed us the
way. Give up your resentments, give up all you think you need. Hold
only to the Truth and Christ will arise. Christ will resurrect.
I am not able to see that from these eyes as yet, but there are glimpses. I am
asking Mary Magdalene for help. She was relentless and determined after
the crucifixion to pursue His Spirit. She had embraced the teaching of
no-death, through death. She held the
truth, and experienced the Vision. Christ lives. Love cannot die.
Deeply grateful to walk this way with you. Arriving home on Thursday. A Course In Miracles will
meet there. 161 Sassamon Ave. Milton, Ma. We start meditation as
7:30. Looking forward to joining with you as we open the limits of our
heart unto infinite Truth.
all love,
marybeth