Unlearning, Un-teaching for a Teacher of God by MaryBeth Scalice
We had a remarkable gathering.
These retreats stir our hearts and minds.
I learn…but it is never what I expect to learn.
I think I will learn love and peace,
maybe power or awakening.
That is not part of the curriculum.
I learn instead, about myself.
I learn about parts of me yet so fragile,
parts of me yet untamed,
the sticky parts not yet free to love.
I learn a lot about MaryBeth.
Jess says that is exactly
what I must un-see, unlearn
that I may become a teacher of God.
Jess says these circles are perfect
for glimpsing What I am in Truth.
I had this idea I was to teach
something to others.
What a surprise to re-discover
the classroom of my wounded self.
She only wants to do a good job.
She only wants others to love her.
She wants to be admired,
to be viewed as wise and competent.
Ha ha. All that is ignorance
clogging the channel of God frequency
with exclusivity and difference.
None of that is love.
ACIM says, Teach only Love
for that is what you are.
Teaching What I am is the
most basic and passionate
lesson of all, and ridiculously difficult.
Teaching What I am means
I have to let go of what I hope to be,
thought I was, and brought
as right methodology
into the homeroom of retreat.
I stop pursuing the student in others
and bring the lesson home to me.
His teacher is given to unlearn,
undo, un-become,
that she may not be undermined
by the goals of the ego.
This requires trust,
for me, trust in Jesus, our unity,
and the Plan of Love.
I recall a story about Bill Thetford.
Two passionate students of ACIM
came to settle a dispute;
something about the meaning of
a paragraph in the text.
I heard he took the book,
ripped out the page
saying, (something like),
joining with a brother
is more important than being right.
Better to tear out the cause
of our separation than stoke the
arrogance of intellectual gratification.
I came home on Sunday afternoon
with all kinds of interpretations,
judgments and analyzations.
The more mental power
I gave to understanding,
the weaker I felt.
Thank God for Jess, Who offers me
redemption.
He offers me another perspective.
Let me share then, His Words from
our weekend.
(Jess)
Would you remember once more
the Call which brings you to teach?
I did not send you forth to teach
your path, your way.
I send you forth to heal.
To teach is to share.
Sharing does not occur
when you are divided
by separate teachings.
What matter if everything
you offer is right
if none of it can be received,
if you are unable to share
the deepest Truth,
the greatest healing…ONE.
Healing is not in what you teach.
What you teach must heal you.
If it is not the felt-experience
of My Love, My compassion,
My understanding extended,
you are teaching yourself
separation. You are teaching
yourself that there are better
teachers and worse teachers.
I assure you this can only be seen
from the eye of the teacher
we call ego.
To teach is to live
and apply My Word;
to practice humility, trust,
listening, acceptance,
that which I have given you,
that you may offer yourself
these same gifts; that you
may learn of What we are.
You worry that you are not liked,
not accepted. It is true.
You do not like or accept your Self.
You stumble, falter over
the beliefs that have come
to heal and open your life.
To be a living-breathing poem
of God is to accept all poets
in the universe as creators
of the colossal Book of Love,
whose gifts are part of the whole
which you need.
You need every verse.
(This not the embrace of words,
but Being.)
Refrain from judging yourself.
Refrain from self-betrayal.
Begin every joining with silence
blessing your brother
and your Self.
Do not decide where you shall go
and what you shall say.
But come again to Me.
I will spare you the trepidation
of the illusion of rejection.
Forgiveness is the teaching you
accept for yourself.
Ask again of your Worthiness.
See you have it.
Ask again of your Strength.
See you have it.
Ask again of Love,
See you have it.
Teacher of God,
teach yourself
the peace and power
within every joining.
Heal thyself.
These thoughts you consider,
do not consider You.
They are not worthy of
the child of God. They are
judgments capable
of sabotaging the true gifts
you have to bring.
Bear the gifts of your heart
with confidence.